Spring begins next month, and that means we’re closing in on wedding season. Although the pandemic has put a temporary halt to full-scale gatherings, there are still chances to do something smaller with close family and friends. And, with weddings, come speeches. Whether you’re a parent of the bride or groom, the maid or honor, or the best man, people always look forward to hearing what you have to say. However, that doesn’t give you a free pass to hold people hostage from the dinner, drinks, and dancing as you go on for what seems like a half hour, so make sure your speech has just enough material and doesn’t exceed a couple of minutes.

People look forward to the wedding toasts, so you want to be funny, but not alienate your audience. It’s okay to tell a joke here and there, but make sure they’re not all jokes that only you and a few people will be in on. Nothing will sting more than trying to land a joke, but only receiving muffles of polite laughter.

Although you might feel the urge to be humorous the whole way through as a means to break the tension of any nervousness, don’t go for just laughs. If you do, it’ll just seem like you’re trying too hard. A lot of times, people might remember moments of sincerity more than a joke. And, those heartfelt moments are the ones that will be most impactful to whomever the toast is being addressed. In that case, I’m not saying to get all emotional. With these toasts, who want to find a fine balance between humor and heart, so find a flow between the two that works for you.

As you work to format this balance, also remember to not steal the spotlight away from the bride and groom. If you love public speaking, it can be tempting to want to be the most memorable part of the ceremony. However, do your best to refrain from this. People will notice if your speech comes off as a bit much.

At this point in your life, I’m sure you’ve been to several weddings. And, given how weddings are planned months in advance, you’ll have ample time to plan and perfect your speech, if you’re asked to provide one. And, in this day and age where we have countless videos of our milestone events, maybe look back on a few, if you have them, and see how other people have formatted their speeches. Use this as a guide, and also pay attention to how people react to those speeches. See what worked and what didn’t.

This is a given, but if you want your toast to be as effective as it can, hold off on the drinks until your speech is over. Once you start slurring your words, it’s over. I’ve never seen this happen, but that doesn’t mean that it can’t. One or two drinks before your toast is fine (you need to toast with champagne, after all), but you don’t want your speech to be remembered for the wrong reasons.

Weddings are some of the most joyous events for family and friends, so make your speeches resonate and be of the caliber that your loved ones deserve.